Does this sound familiar?
The kids are in bed, and your husband puts his book down. He slides up next to you, and you instinctively pull away.
“You know, I could help you,” he says. “I could get up early with you and workout.”
If looks could kill, he would be dead right now.
“Good night,” you say, and turn over, sliding as far you can to the edge of the bed as possible.
He sighs and walks out of the room, shutting the door behind him.
Sound familiar? If you’re like I was, you’ll then lie there, staring at the ceiling, thinking about how ill-fitting all your jeans are, how the happy hour your husband likes seem to attract increasingly young and slim girls each time you go, while you look increasingly like your great aunt Mildred. And the pool party this weekend? The Smiths are young, fit healthy and the picture of fun… while you can’t wear a one-piece swimsuit without a wrap around your waist.
You reflect on how your friends seem to lose weight easily, while dieting is a struggle for you that doesn’t seem to work. You have heard about slow metabolism, damaged thyroid. Maybe one of those applies to you? In which case, who could blame you for being overweight? No matter how much or how little you eat, your body never changes.
This thing that’s happening? Inside your brain, but leaking out via your actions? It’s what I like to call the Soundtrack in Your Mind.
Like the Brady Bunch theme song (“Here’s a story… of a lovely lady… who was bringing up three very lovely girls…”), it gets in there and plays over and over and over.
Different things trigger it, but the story that’s in there is always the same. "Slow metabolism, damaged thyroid, taxed adrenals, harder for me than other girls, losing weight takes dieting, which makes you hungry, and I barely have energy to workout..."
But here’s the secret: The Soundtrack in Your Mind ISN’T TRUE. How do I know? If it WERE, you'd be FIT, LEAN, and YOUR HEALTHIEST SELF (and probably wouldn't be reading this blog).
The Soundtrack in Your Mind is an insidious story you keep telling yourself because you don’t yet understand why you can’t lose weight, while others have no trouble with it.
I understand the Soundtrack in Your Mind. I had one myself when I was 80 lbs overweight, wearing a size 20, and had tried everything and failed. My mind wanted a simple explanation for why, when I dieted, I GAINED weight and was STARVING. “Damaged thyroid” made sense, as did “slow metabolism.” Neither was completely untrue, but what WAS untrue was that I couldn’t be AS FIT AND LEAN AND HEALTHY AS ANY OTHER ‘NORMAL’ GIRL, AND GET THERE WITHOUT STARVING MYSELF… OR EVER BEING HUNGRY!
When I found the secrets I share with you in my free gift, How to Lose 5 lbs in 7 Days With This One Small Trick, it was like pulling the first loose string in an old sweater: everything began to unravel. 75 lbs slid off me in just 6 months, working out only 3 times per week. I dropped from a size 18 to a size 2!
The next thing that needed to go was that Brady Bunch Theme Song, the Soundtrack in MY Mind.
So how do we change the Soundtrack in Your Mind?
- Have you pictured yourself as the fit gal in the neighborhood lately, the one who wears the teeny tiny jeans and everyone asks fitness tips of? No?
- How about ‘that girl’ whom people look at and think, ‘some girls just have it easier’?
I’m here to tell you it’s time to start visualizing it. Sound silly?
Consider this: why would you take the time to plant flowers in a garden that’s full of weeds? You know what will happen: the weeds will simply grow back up again and choke the beautiful flowers you spent so much time making perfect. The same is true for your fitness. We have to ‘pull the weeds’ - this idea that your body isn’t just as capable as everyone else’s, or that you're 'a fat girl' - before we plant the pretty flowers.
Let me unpack this a slight different way, with another story.
Until the 5th grade, I was consistently in the lower-middle of my class with respect to my academic performance. My IQ tests were all normal/average-ish. All my teachers treated me as if I was marginally intelligent, but not bright. My 4th grade teacher actually declined my request to try advanced math, saying I wasn’t ready. She was very dismissive of me when I asked, and made me feel small (the Soundtrack in My Mind went, "I'm not smart like those other girls...").
When I entered 5th grade, on the first day the teacher asked questions about parts of speech. The answers were actually written on a sign on the wall, but I guess he didn’t know it, and the other kids didn’t see it, so I kept raising my hand and answering his questions. He remarked how smart I was, and I felt so proud. The rest of that year he treated me with utter respect for my intelligence and capabilities. I had convinced him I was “the smart girl,” the “gifted student,” and “ahead of the class,” and that label would stick. Not wanting to disappoint my teacher, I started performing according to his expectation. I won spelling bees, writing competitions, and was invited to do a summer program with Johns Hopkins, on account of some SAT scores. My parents had my IQ re-tested and it was ‘genius’ level. I was confident enough to keep going on that track for the rest of my academic career.
Now, do we really believe I magically became a genius at 11? Do we believe it was ‘dormant’, and sleeping, and that it just happened to crop up when I turned 12?
Or do we believe that, on a certain day, something happened that would change the STORY I TOLD MYSELF, the story my teacher told about me, the story my peers told about me, and I began behaving differently TO MATCH THE STORY?
I’m here to tell you it was the latter.
Because of that 5th grade experience, it’s always been interesting to me how much one person’s opinion of you can change your actions, positive or negative. Which is why I always start with an overweight client and insist that they start walking, talking, and behaving like the hottest person in the room. Like a fitness model. "Talk smack to me girl! Tell me how amazing your legs look!" I tell them. They oblige me... kind of. You can tell they're super uncomfortable about it. But ultimately they do it, and continue to do it. (Until the day comes when it's true and they have to be careful their self-talk doesn't come across as arrogant because now it really IS true... but that's a lesson we'll get to later).
We have changed the Brady Bunch Theme song that was stuck in their head to something equally catchy, let's call it the Star Wars Theme Song. And it's on repeat.
Brady Bunch Theme Song = I'll never be fit.
Star Wars Theme Song = This is easy for me. I love to eat clean and workout, and I always get great results.
An idea is like a cancer: plant it, and it can grow exponentially, and bear tremendous fruit.
So... back to the Soundtrack in Your Mind. What if I told you that we could radically change the way you eat and approach your fitness with this simple idea: that YOU could be lean, look cute in a bikini, and be a fit girl? By just changing the Soundtrack in Your Mind?
Whoever told you that you weren’t meant to be fit - the bullies on the playground, your older sister, your friends, your mom, or even YOU, piecing together a story from the hodgepodge of information thrown at you by our culture - is a small-minded IDIOT (sorry if that's you, but we're about to change it). Being fit is your absolute birth-right. Humans are made to be fit. Our systems always find their way back there. You haven’t “wrecked your metabolism.” Toss that idea out with the trash.
By simply planting a seed and attending to it, a farmer builds a field. Let me be the first to give you this ‘seed’: you are fit, lithe, beautiful, and dare I say skinny? My seed for you and the rich soil that is your MIND - is that you aren’t meant to be overweight. Your metabolism is not wrecked, and you don’t need a medication to ‘fix it’. You just need the right recipe of nutrition and exercise to fix it.
It must be easy for YOU to be so thin.
I have heard that a couple times in the past couple of months. I have also heard, “some women have it easy.” How I wish they knew that just a year ago I was almost 100 lbs heavier, wearing a size 20, and that I had to lose the weight as a single mom of two babies under 2!
Psst. Hey YOU. Yeah YOU. Fit girl. Don’t turn around. You mean no one has called you a fit girl lately? When was the last time you day dreamed about being thin / fit / healthy? When you last went to buy clothing, did you buy the smaller size intending to lose weight, or the larger size, ‘accepting your fate’? It’s time to start buying the smaller size.
Now, we have planted a new seed. I want you to plant it every day for the next 3-4 days and see what happens. What can YOU build from a simple idea?
Consider the iPhone. It’s a complex, near-impossible invention. It came from a simple seed: an idea. Aren’t you worth more than an iPhone? Your new body will certainly be more elegant and refined. Ponder on how fit you ARE, be grateful for how fit you ARE, and start walking and talking like the fittest girl in town NOW.
If there’s a still sliver of hope in amongst your soundtrack, then I want to send you an advanced copy of my free gift, How to Lose 5 lbs in 7 Days With This One Small Trick. It's due out July 15th, but you will be the first to have it in your hands. It's a complete guide with all the mindset, nutrition and workout tips you need to accomplish what I have: a complete transformation.
To get your advanced copy, simply send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org, and write "Free Gift" in the subject line. I'll send you one of the FIRST copies and we'll be on our way to revealing the real you.
To your new life!